Bandar Utama Buddhist Society Weblog

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The precepts are about changing our behaviour so that we have the
optimum opportunity to develop spiritually. I suppose how seriously
we choose to apply the individual precepts is a measure of the
urgency with which we are striving towards the goal of this path.
Idle chatter is not productive; although it may be entertaining in
the short term. Being entertained, though, does not have anything to
do with our development - while it can be pleasurable, it leaves us
where we are. This is one of the tensions that lay people have: we
have chosen to live in a situation where there is endless
distraction and the opportunity for avoidance of important work. The
Five Precepts (and the Eight Uposatha Precepts) are designed to
counter this trap. If we place them at the centre of our life we
still have the potential for excellent progress. If we choose not
to, then any advancement will be slower. It is a straightforward
choice that we need to make. As with all volitional actions of mind,
speech and body we will face the outcome of our choice.

For many of us, Right Speech is the hardest of the precepts. We
spend most of each day interacting with people and it is certainly
difficult to ensure that dhammic principles are maintained. Just as
in our formal meditation practice, this is an exercise in
mindfulness. Speech is just as important as any other action; what
we choose to voice matters. It can be beneficial or destructive.
Skilful speech entails consideration for the people who will hear
what we say as well as care that our own standards are maintained.
Right speech need not be worthy and dull: it is well-chosen,
improving and an expression of lovingkindness for the hearer.

Gossiping about a friend behind his or her back cannot ever be
considered skilful. There are usually much more productive ways of
dealing with hurt - for example, by addressing the friend directly,
so that the situation may be amicably resolved, or by accepting what
has happened and choosing to move on. There is nothing to stop us
seeking the advice of a third party about an incident that has
happened but this need never slip over into back-biting.

[The Buddha speaks to his son, Rahula:] "Whenever you want to
perform a verbal act, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal act I
want to perform -- would it lead to self-affliction, to the
affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal act,
with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you
know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of
others, or to both; it would be an unskillful verbal act with
painful consequences, painful results, then any verbal act of that
sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you
know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful
verbal action with happy consequences, happy results, then any
verbal act of that sort is fit for you to do.

While you are performing a verbal act, you should reflect on
it: 'This verbal act I am doing -- is it leading to self-affliction,
to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal
act, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection,
you know that it is leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of
others, or to both... you should give it up. But if on reflection
you know that it is not... you may continue with it.

Having performed a verbal act, you should reflect on it... If, on
reflection, you know that it led to self-affliction, to the
affliction of others, or to both; it was an unskillful verbal act
with painful consequences, painful results, then you should confess
it, reveal it, lay it open to the Teacher or to a knowledgeable
companion in the holy life. Having confessed it... you should
exercise restraint in the future. But if on reflection you know that
it did not lead to affliction... it was a skillful verbal action
with happy consequences, happy results, then you should stay
mentally refreshed and joyful, training day and night in skillful
mental qualities."

- Majjhima Nikaya 61

Andrew Quernmore
Vipassana Fellowship Newsletter
from Vipassana.com

To visit the Society's website see:
http://www.parami.org/bubs/

Useful website - "Buddhists in the Klang Valley", info on local Dhamma activities. http://buddhistsinklangvalley.blogspot.com/

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# posted by Bandar Utama Buddhist Society @ 8:39 PM 0 comments

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The talk covers what one needs to know about funeral services as death
can happen to our loved ones or us any time. It is better to be
prepared rather than be caught unguided. As people are very particular
about their destiny after death, knowing their religious needs becomes
very critical. Buddhism teaches rebirth, hence a Buddhist perspective
on funeral practises will be very helpful. The talk, in English will
also cover different Buddhist traditions (Theravada and Mahayana) and
the influence of Chinese culture.

Date : Oct 26th, 2005 (Wednesday) Time : 8.30pm-10.00pm
Venue : Bandar Utama Buddhist Society, Petaling Jaya
Speaker : Aw Kim Fatt & Didi Chan
Aw is the current Chairman of Malaysian Buddhist Co-operative Society
(MBCS). He is the founder member of MBCS. Didi is a Funeral Director
of MBCS.

Other talks in this series by Malaysian Buddhist Co-operative Society,
please see http://buddhistsinklangvalley.blogspot.com/

To visit the Society's website see:
http://www.parami.org/bubs/

Useful website - "Buddhists in the Klang Valley", info on local Dhamma activities. http://buddhistsinklangvalley.blogspot.com/

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
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# posted by Bandar Utama Buddhist Society @ 3:08 PM 0 comments

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This was by a Management guru, but it closely reflects Dhamma
teachings on skilful use of the mind.

Author : Stephen Covey ( Management Guru)

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the
way you react to situations). What is this principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided
by how you react. What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot
stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving,
which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in
traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different.
You determine the other 90%. How?

By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control
your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a
cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what
just what happened. What happens when the nex t will be determined by
how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking
the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn
to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the
edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs
and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has
been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She
misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush
to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late,
you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minut e
delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your
daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving
at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse
and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you
find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is " D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted
in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened .

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently
say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and
your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window
and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive
5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on
how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control
over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let
the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the
negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your
day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired,
getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Do you lose your temper?
Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel
fall off)
Do you curse?
Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars
ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It
will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no
control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the
other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at
the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this
principle.The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved
stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a
success in life.

Bad days follow bad days.

Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant
stress,lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time.
Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to
the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel.
Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged..

You can be different!

Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life.........!!!!!!!

To visit the Society's website see:
http://www.parami.org/bubs/

Useful website - "Buddhists in the Klang Valley", info on local Dhamma activities. http://buddhistsinklangvalley.blogspot.com/

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
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# posted by Bandar Utama Buddhist Society @ 11:25 AM 0 comments